Remembering the years past: God’comforting presence

1st of a series about my walk with God through a valley

This was written in the year 2003

Isaiah 41:10 has always been a source of encouragement and comfort to me. I learned and quoted this verse since I was a university student with a habit of mentally picturing myself being held in God’s mighty Hand. Thus being assured of God”s presence, I have always enjoyed peace and quietness of heart in the most trying and difficult times.

Fear not for I am with you, Be not dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

This same verse has lifted our spirits and upheld me and my family during the past ten months since I was diagnosed with liposarcoma, a cancer in soft tissues, in my left leg.

My first reaction when the doctor diagnosed the lump as cancerous was not fear or dismay but more of nonbelief and sadness; “surely not this seemingly harmless lump. It happen to others but not to me, Lord. my family will be devastated if I die this early and so sudden.” I am not the reactive type of person. I often respond to anything after some lapse of time, that is, after thinking through any word or action done. As I heard the word cancer, however, I had this aweful feeling of sadness and helplessness. Its amazing how the brain can conjure up so many scenarios, not very good ones, in such times.

Just as equally amazing, God’s word was such a comfort when I turned my mind to Him. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. Indeed, how can I be dismayed when the God who controls the universe is in perfect control of my life?

I often wondered how people diagnosed with cancer and debilitating disease feel. Now I know! With no assurance of medical cure, one feels helpless. One just cant do anything within human power and resources. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. I felt so blessed that I know the Lord personally and that I can avail of His immense resources. In the past months, my family and I have experienced God’s mighty hand at work. Throughout the treatment process which included radiation and surgical operation, the Lord has shown us His mighty power. He has mercifully encouraged and strengthened us, graciously provided for our needs and miraculously worked through the people, the treatments and circumstances for my healing. While I was going through my radiation treatment, my heart goes out for the others (a lot of whom show more advanced state of the illness in different forms) and I often found myself praying for these people, that they too will find comfort in the God of the universe.

At present, I am “medically” declared free of cancer cells but I have to go through a regular medical followup for the next 5 years. A comforting thought for me and my family. Looking back to the past months, I wouldn’t have willed to have a cancer, but at the same time I wouldn’t have wanted to miss anything that I have learned and experienced. I pray that I would always continue to hunger for God’s presence and experience His mighty power.